I don’t care!

Good Morning, Alycia. Thats a tough situation to be in and I face it often in my career. First remind yourself that this is not about you. You are doing a great job and you are seeking support to understand how to solve the problem. It's a tough situation and I'm sorry you have to face it daily.

Here's a bit of a checklist to ask yourself to make sure it's been done or could be done to support.

-Have outside resources been brought in to observe and offer support or diagnosis?

-What is the child's background? Is there abuse, neglect, poverty, a diagnosis that affects behaviour, family crisis, abuse? If so have done what you need to to understand the situation and implement supports for it.

-Do you need if he is eating enough? If not can food be provided as it ads to behaviour.

-Is the student able to complete the work being provided? Is it at his grade or mental level/capacity? Does it need to be modified or has it? If there's ADHD the modification is shortening tasks with lots of break.

-What have you tried so far? Behaviour change through programming can take several months and must be consistent.

-If the child does have a diagnosis has the school given you the supports you need to help him be successful.

-Have you read the strategies and understanding behaviour sections on this website - Solving Behaviour. There is also programming available.

-Are you 100% consistent! This is a must to avoid accidental rewarding. (read site for this)

-Are there natural consequnces set up?

-Check your own tone and body language. Are you calm? Consistent? Is he getting to you? "I can see that you frustrated right now, how can I help?" "What can we do to make this situation less challenging for you?" "Would a quiet place to work help?" "Your words are telling me that you are angry I will come back when you are ready to talk." "I'm sorry that you are feeling upset right now, why don't you take a five minute break and return and we can disucss how we can get the task done."

-Do you have EA/TA assistance? If not can you get some to support him with tasks?

Without knowing the students background it is challening to offer ideas but typically when we see these behaviours this is a child in pain. He may have low regard for his ability to do that tasks. He may feel embarrassed. He may find looking at a full page of work or textbook overwhelming. He may have so much going on in his life at home that school seems redundant and pointless. Find these things out will help you to create a path for him and reduce his behaviours and help him have some success in the classroom.

Here are some quick ideas to try and please also look over the website attached to this forum. I think you will find many answers to your questions there and I am always available to you.

-Allow him some choice (that you can live with) over the task. Would you like to do this page or that page? Can you do five questions? He may say three, you say four. See that as success. Help him buy in by offering some control. Often kids who need control at school have very little at home and things are not going well for them in other areas of there life so they seek to control whatever they can to not feel the choas.

-Set up a task/break system. Find out what motivates him, what he loves and use it. Set a timer. If you work for (this time should be very short to bein with) 10 minutes, you can have a break doing (whatever you choose) for 10 minutes. As he buys in this time is incresased and break time lowered. These numbers can be whatever suits the situation.

-Set up a behaviour chart - I have some examples under visuals - Pick 3-5 dependent on age behaviours that are the worst you need him to work on - put a pic of what he can earn for doing so (this is not a reweard it is earned time for a mind/body break) Raise hand to speak, keep hands to self, kind words....always positive framing for the request. Do not give the break if he has not met the requests.

-Make sure you have bodybreaks set up for him - just so he can remove himself. Create a break/hall pass. This must be set up very carefully.

-Create a calming area in your room he or other students can retreat too.

-Make sure you have a good behaviour support plan in place (in my programming I go over all of these thinsg in detail).

-five to one postive to negative - you want to create collaboration.

-Make sure you always comment when he does the right thing rather than the wrong. "Thank you for coming in and sitting down." "Thank you for putting your hand up." we want to point out the positives and that leads to better things.

-Set up some one to one time to really get to know him and his needs and to make him feel valued.

-Is there a job he really likes? Often having these guys help younger kids and trusting them to do so is a huge motivator and gives them confience and something to feel good about - such as supporting in Kindergarten.

-Make him your team member. Have him help you with classroom "teacher" jobs.

When using positive reinforcement you must make sure that you do not give in and give the earned time if he has not done the tasks to avoid accidental rewards. Make it very easy at first the increase demand over time. Behaviour change can take a long time. Make sure that you have meaningful consequences in place for him (read that section on Solving Behaviour).

Work to come from a positive, collaborative place of acceptance. Make sure he is not being rewarded for these behaviours through attention from your or students or other staff.

Be consistent! The student must be able to predict with 100% accuracy your response and what the consequence of action postive or negative will be.

I hope this helps and that you can find anything else you needs on the website. www.solvingbehaviour.com Please let me know how it goes and how you make out.

Take care of you! Have a plan in place of special self care while you go through this year with this child. Read the unfixable child on the webstie too, I think it may help.

Take care!

Kerry Orchard

Sorry for the typos...early saturday morning here :-)

I am pleased to read this post. Genius